On the local urban river I'm always on the move and I squirrel myself away. But sometimes you find a shoal of gudgeon next to a busy path. And nothing attracts a nutter like a fisherman - I'd been fishing about 30 minutes before I heard a shout from across the river...
CAUGHT ANYTHING MATE?
Yeah, a few small ones
NO YOU HAVEN'T, THERE'S NO FISH IN THERE
Umm, OK
IS THAT A FLY REEL?
It's a center pin
NO IT'S NOT, IT'S A FLY REEL
...
FOR FLY FISHING
(Watches me catch a small roach)
I CAUGHT A MASSIVE TROUT IN THERE YESTERDAY
I thought you said there were no fish in here
NO, IT'S F**KING FULL OF FISH
...
WHAT YOU USING FOR BAIT?
Maggots
MAGGOTS! YOU WON'T CATCH ANYTHING ON MAGGOTS
I just did
YOU NEED WORMS MATE - THEN YOU'LL CATCH
I haven't got any worms
WELL DIG SOME UP. DIG A HOLE
I'll just stick to maggots
DIG A HOLE. DIG UP A WORM. DIG A HOLE. MATE. DIG UP A WORM. DIG A HOLE. DIG UP A WORM. DIG A HOLE...
(I try to ignore him but it seems he's got all afternoon)
DIG UP A WORM...
Mate, I'm not digging a hole; one - I haven't got a spade and two - I've got a pint of maggots
YOU CAN'T F**KING HELP SOME PEOPLE!
(Stomps off)
Sounds like every anglers worst nightmare :)
ReplyDeleteI genuinely do have nightmares about recent hook-pulls, and that feeling straight afterwards. Not about riverbank nutters though - fortunately!
DeleteLocal advise is always useful, only a fool would ignore it :o)
ReplyDeleteIt could be worse though. Sat in my police car one day, I had a toothless 'care in the community' gentleman asking lots of questions whilst gumming his way through a Mars bar. I haven't eaten one since :o{
I really think he thought I was going to stop fishing and start digging - an took offence when I didn’t.
DeleteWhat I didn’t add was he came back 10 minutes later, and angrily shouted something at me - when I said I couldn’t understand what he was saying he told me to ‘f**king Google it’
I kept an eye out for a bit in case he found my side of the river! Also, thanks for spoiling Mars Bars for me :-)
You should have just dug a hole and got a worm. would have kept the nutter happy and you may have caught one of the fish that don't exist that won't eat the maggots that you were catching them on.
ReplyDeleteWhere was that logic when I needed it?
DeleteSorry about that. I just wanted a chat!! 🤣😂🤣😂
ReplyDeleteChat: good. Digging random holes: bad! :-)
DeleteThe river seems to attract all the village idiots! Either that or it’s day release day...and yeah...why didn’t you dig a hole, I could have buried myself in it after losing that roach today :-(((
ReplyDeleteAll rivers do. Either day-release or an escapee!
DeleteSo I lost a big pike and you caught it, you lost a big roach and I caught it - dangers of sight fishing in chalk streams!!