On the local urban river I'm always on the move and I squirrel myself away. But sometimes you find a shoal of gudgeon next to a busy path. And nothing attracts a nutter like a fisherman - I'd been fishing about 30 minutes before I heard a shout from across the river...
CAUGHT ANYTHING MATE?
Yeah, a few small ones
NO YOU HAVEN'T, THERE'S NO FISH IN THERE
IS THAT A FLY REEL?
It's a center pin
NO IT'S NOT, IT'S A FLY REEL
FOR FLY FISHING
(Watches me catch a small roach)
I CAUGHT A MASSIVE TROUT IN THERE YESTERDAY
I thought you said there were no fish in here
NO, IT'S F**KING FULL OF FISH
WHAT YOU USING FOR BAIT?
MAGGOTS! YOU WON'T CATCH ANYTHING ON MAGGOTS
I just did
YOU NEED WORMS MATE - THEN YOU'LL CATCH
I haven't got any worms
WELL DIG SOME UP. DIG A HOLE
I'll just stick to maggots
DIG A HOLE. DIG UP A WORM. DIG A HOLE. MATE. DIG UP A WORM. DIG A HOLE. DIG UP A WORM. DIG A HOLE...
(I try to ignore him but it seems he's got all afternoon)
DIG UP A WORM...
Mate, I'm not digging a hole; one - I haven't got a spade and two - I've got a pint of maggots
YOU CAN'T F**KING HELP SOME PEOPLE!